Meanwhile. . . “Confessions of a Traveler: The Observations of Alien 597”

Grotesque insect looking beasts, which burst out of your chest, and have acid for blood.

Grey and short aliens with big eyes, who want to take over your mind, and they do horrible experiments with instruments that go up your anus.

They’ve come to take over the world, and make you into a zombie or dinner. If they ever land in full view, they would either be worshiped and a new religion would form, or murdered immediately, and their ship parts sold to the highest bidder. Alien 597 read her report about aliens that humans had encountered.

Everywhere is a crisis and everyone’s looking for a hero to save them from the monsters out there. Is there anyone who can save them from their curiosity and wontedness of an elixir? The goblins, werewolves, vampires, and the three headed aliens are after them.

There are books that can fill libraries on these subjects, and if one was judging fact by volume size, engineering would be made up, and vampires the gospel truth, because want and truth are two different things. Alien 597 continued reading her report on how humans are paranoid.

The ancients of earth told humans how to achieve enlightenment, but what works for one, may not work for another, she thought. Each enlightenment is unique to whatever species can think of that special word. A melding of mind and body that the human Rene Descartes would envy, and which that unattainable can be achieved through reading, running naked in the rain, playing a game of Go, or deep meditation. If you seek it, it will not come, so she thought live and push the thought away, until she was struck by lightning, figuratively.

The thing is, lightning rarely strikes, and it rarely strikes twice, but when it does, it is without warning, and it’s when you least expect it. Alien 597 decided to research earth on every subject except the subject of enlightenment, for this very reason.

Alien 597 had been groomed for a job as a traveler since birth, like her forefathers before her, traveling the void and venturing into the nothingness, the nameless, and the undiscovered to find life.

As she was growing up, she wanted no such lonely life, for her life would be wasted on a fruitless quest, searching a universe that was hollow, and mostly empty. But they had found something, there was another species on another planet that looked exactly like them, and they needed travelers. And lately, Alien 597 had been looking up at the stars in search of something. When she caught a shooting star, she imagined how many she missed out of her field of vision, probably thousands raining down.

Stars were dying, and giving birth to new stars, planets were circling, and new galaxies were forming and dying. Things were in constant motion with or without her, and she figured she wanted to be a part of this, part of the discovery to this faraway place. She was given clearance to go, and she had read books and settled on an area to explore and blend in… this strange place, named with three letters… U….S….A. The lights sparkled even from outer space in this golden dotted land, and she was eager for exploration, study, and extensive research.